No Need to Worry about Your Baby's Milestones

I know that topic caught your eye because, if you have been around for awhile, you know I am an occupational therapist that has devoted my career to encouraging baby milestones. And you’re correct. But, these milestones should never be a topic of worry for you. Baby milestones are so important and encouraging your baby’s milestones is HUGE, but the anxiety around milestones has gotten out of hand and I am here to give you clear guidance on this topic.

Baby milestones, as stated above, are very important and knowing what to expect from our infants in certain stages guides our caregiving and ability to support our babies. Baby milestones include: progression of movement, social development, and cognitive and language development. These things are natural developmental necessities in our babies becoming functional children and adults. As an occupational therapist and mom, I understand the worry around these milestones and I want to provide clear understanding around these developments.

For more information on support your baby at home, join the Bloom by Infant Insights membership with resources that have helped over 1500+ parents & babies find peace & helpful resources to support their baby.

There is a way to understand your baby’s milestones and not becoming worrisome about them! That’s what I am here to help you navigate.

There are normal ranges of baby milestones and these are the age ranges we find when googling things such as “when does my baby need to roll.” When googling these things, we find lists and lists of age ranges (not all stating the same ages), then we may be sent into a worry spell as the list states our baby needs to crawl at 9 months and our baby is not crawling at 9 months!

I am here to tell you that these milestone charts should not bring you worry, but understanding. Understanding of what to expect from your baby, and then understanding of how to encourage these milestones. This overall understanding leaves you feeling confidence and in control of your child’s developmental continuum. This lessen the worry and encourage problem solving versus panic when evaluating your baby’s developmental level.

First, we need to understand what to expect from our baby at different ages.

Below is a range of normal developmental activities through the first year that should give us a lens into what to expect in our growing baby. These milestones are not meant to worry you, so when reading them consider where your baby is currently. We will talk further about the skills required to encourage these milestones in your baby further in this article.

Newborn Phase (0-2 months)

• Opens eyes intermittently

• Can see ~8-12 inches away and high contrast items

• Shaky, tremor-like movements at times

• Begins to quiet when hearing mother's voice

• Rooting reflex present - turns toward nutrient source when cheek is stroked

• Tolerates modified tummy time with elbows underneath body

• Hands are closed and reflexive grasp is present

• May life head intermittently to 90* on tummy towards end of this stage

• Tracks a toy by turning head and moving eyes

Download this tummy time guide here to help you find comfort & confidence to navigate tummy time from birth and beyond.

Early Mover (2-5 months)

• Begins to see mother or caregiver across the room

• Baby beings to keep hands more open and grasps toys more purposefully

• Uses hands together and begins to explore with mouth

• Begins to have arms straight on tummy and may exhibit Landau reflex (swimiming)

• Begins to track with eyes while head stays in midline in addition to tracking with head turning

• Attentive to high contrast, bright and light up items

Roller & Sitter (5-9 months)

• Begins to initiate purposeful movement to achieve desired action (ex. roll over to retrieve desired toy, hand to mouth in feeding)

• Beings to sit with straight back and tall posture and use hands during sitting

• Begins solids and less bottle feedings once starting solids

• Begins to prop sit with hands on floor initally

• Has preferences to toys and people

Download this rolling & sitting guide here to help you find comfort & confidence in encouraging these milestones with your baby!

Crawler & Walker (9-17 months)

• Begins to rock on all fours in prep for crawling

• Begins to assume various positions in play independently (on knees, one knee up, on all fours, etc)

• Begins to notice other children in environment

• May clap hands and initiate game of peek-a-boo

• Able to place small items into small slots (ex. pegs into openings)

• Begins to stack blocks towards end of this stage

• Begins to transition from sitting to all fours

• Begins to pull to stand then take first steps towards end of this range

Download this crawling guide here to help you find comfort & confidence in encouraging these milestones with your baby!

So what influences the development of these milestones.

These may include container usage, amount of free floor play, environmental set up and cleanliness, genetics, temperament, motivation, and restfulness. We have to consider all of these things when expecting our children to reach certain milestones. Containers are a hot registry item among parents and this can lead to delays in milestones if babies spend too much time in these items. Containers are a necessity for some, and when used in moderation they are not all bad. When placing your baby in a container, you want to double to amount of free floor play to encourage your baby to met their baby milestones. You also want to ensure your baby has a clean space for play and safe space with no hazardous items nearby.

You also have to consider genetics when speaking about baby development and milestones. There are patterns of behavior and learning among families. We also want to consider how much rest the baby has had, or if they are close to a nap when assessing our baby’s milestone abilities. Your baby’s motivation and temperament may affect their willingness to move and explore their environment. And lastly. we want to consider our baby’s individuality and interest in their own development. Our babies benefit from our encouragement, but we also need to prioritize individual and baby-led exploration as well. We will discuss how we can support, or nurture, our baby’s development below to meet these milestones.

The Combination of Nature and Nurture

There is an age old debate on nature versus nurture in infant and child development. And the truth is, there is a combination of the two in our baby’s development. Nature is the natural, pre-disposed genetic makeup of a human. Tendencies, personality, patterns of learning and thought, temperament, and more are some examples of these pre-disposed characteristics. These things need to be considered when thinking about your baby’s development. These things are deeply wound into your baby’s identity and these things can affect your baby’s development. There is no need to worry about these "nature” things, as they are usually innate and unable to be changed.

So, what about nurture!?

Nurture is where my school of thought is supported. Nurture is the environment and surroundings around a baby. This includes their physical environment, but also includes their social, relational, and learning environment. This is where purposeful play and supportive learning strategies come into play. This is where encouraging your baby’s development through activities that encourage their milestones are important. We can, in most cases, have control of our baby’s “nurture” environment.

Babies do reach milestones at their own pace. And lots of times naturally with no intervention needed. But, if we can support their development through nurture then why not? If we understand the milestones expect, then understanding how to nurture a learning environment to reach those milestones, then no worry is necessary!

Rather than fixating on specific timelines, we need to create a nurturing environment for baby to support their own individual skill progression. We shouldn’t to get bogged down with the specific months or deadlines, but look at how we can nurture those developments.

I am sure you have found yourself comparing your baby to another baby or to a developmental chart. We can all get caught in a trap of comparison. This starts from a young age, as children on the playgroup. Comparing clothing, hairstyles, homes, etc and that comparison does not disappear when we become parents. The comparison of baby milestones often leads to anxiety or worry (at least for me) and that is not fair since our babies are all their own people. When I feel anxious after comparison, because we probably all have done this a time of two, I take a deep breath and think about the skills my baby needs to reach that milestone that is giving me anxiety.

For an example, you see a 6 month old that is rolling all around on the floor and feel anxious because your 6 month old has no interest in rolling. As a mom and someone who as dealt with this, I would first take a breath and verbalize my anxiety. “Brooke, this is anxiety and worry and this is outside of your rational thoughts.” Once I feel like I am able to think rationally again, I process the situation. I process that I feel worried about my child not rolling. Then, I break down the skills that my baby needs to complete that particular movement. I think okay, my baby doesn’t quite grasp his feet yet. So we need to work on that because that is required for rolling back to belly. I think, my baby doesn’t quite grasp toys like that baby so maybe I should rotate his toys. Maybe he is bored. I also may think, my baby has trouble getting that arm over when rolling, so maybe I need to stretch that arm across his body to encourage familiarity and comfort in that position. That is my way of feeling in control of my situation, which feeling out of control stimulates worry. Need help understanding what skills are required for specific milestones? Download my developmental skills checklist here!

We need to understand where our baby is currently, where they are going and how to encourage those developments. This is my heart, helping you understand logical ways to encourage your baby’s development & prevent or correct your baby’s “flat head.”

Download our free “flat head” guide here to learn more about preventing & correcting “flat head” with your baby.

So what are some practical ways to nurture this developmental environment?

When playing with your newborn, place them in tummy time and get eye level with them. Make noises, sing to baby, and talk to baby to encourage bonding and development.

When completing free floor play with your baby, encourage their rolling skills by rolling them into and out of tummy time. Providing more or less help, depending on how much assistance and how old your baby is.

When holding your baby, encourage sitting skill development by having them sit on your lap and look out into the environment. You can also get on the floor with your baby and practice sitting skills if your baby is older than 5 months. Encourage your baby to smile and giggle throughout for gross motor and social development.

When completing self feeding tasks with your baby, encourage your baby to grasp the utensil and help baby bring to mouth to encourage hand skills. Play games like “here comes the airplane” as you complete feeding tasks with your baby for social development.

Supporting your baby’s needs through a nurturing environment leads to less worry and more bonding. Plus it’s fun!

I LOVE encouraging my baby’s development because I can feel in control of where he is on the developmental continuum and I feel so excited to spend time with him while playing purposeful. I love watching the wheels turn as he problem solves, then achieves a specific movement after practice. Your interactions, your baby’s responsiveness, and the nurturing environment creates a positive relationship with our babies. This also will encourage confidence in your parenting and reduce worry around your baby’s milestones.

So, what if your baby is behind developmentally?

All babies benefit from purposeful play, but understanding the differences between typical development and developmental delays are important.

Ask your pediatrician how your child fits on the developmental continuum. Monitor your child’s development and understand what a late milestone looks like. In my professional experience, this is typically 3 months after the expected age of developmental activity. For example, sitting, or prop sitting typically happens around 6 months. If your baby is not sitting, or prop sitting, by 9 months, this may be a topic you bring up to your baby’s health provider. If your baby is delayed, that’s okay! Ask your baby’s pediatrician for a therapy referral, so they can have the tools they need to be successful.

Understanding how what to expect from your baby and how to encourage their milestones from day one allows you to be in the know and have full understanding of your child’s developmental skills. This also encourages your ability to advocate for your baby when required.

Worrying about milestones as a parent is inevitable sometimes, but understanding these things fosters a sense of control and awareness. I am very passionate about helping you do that. 

For more information on support your baby at home, join the Bloom by Infant Insights membership with resources that have helped over 1500+ parents & babies find peace & helpful resources to support their baby.

You are AMAZING mama and your baby is SO LUCKY to have you!

Thanks for reading!

Brooke, OTR/L